Friday, December 16, 2011
Facing the Giants
I just wanted to ask really quick for anyone who takes the time to read my occasional blogging to please keep me in your prayers. I'm facing some tough stuff right now and I'm at a complete loss at how to get through this. I want so badly to confide in someone, unfortunately I can't. So just please pray for me. Pray some Ephesians 1:17-21 over my life! I would greatly appreciate it!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
On To Victory!
I so desire that all would know the power of praying the word of the Lord. Scripture and prayer are not separate from each other. The word of the Lord is alive. It brings life and power into our lives, but not just by reading it. You must use it, as you were meant to use it. Pray it! Praying the scripture releases the Holy Spirit to move through your prayers. It is a powerful weapon! I did not truly understand the power of the gospel and the Holy Spirit in my own life until I began praying the word of the Lord, and all the pieces began to click for me. The Holy Spirit opened the eyes of my understanding, and what I had always 'known', I suddenly KNEW. I prayed this scripture prayer and as I prayed it, it came to pass.
EPHESIANS 1:17-21
17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[a] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
The word "know" in this passage means to understand by experience. And that's exactly what happen in my heart. Suddenly I KNEW the POWER of the Holy Spirit. And the Spirit of His revelation came upon me. The praying of the word of the Lord is a might weapon just as the Bible says.
Ephesians 6:10-18
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, WHICH IS THE WORD OF GOD.
Man, am I the only one getting excited about this right now? Our only WEAPON is "the sword of the Spirit, which is the WORD of GOD!" Since we know that we war and fight through prayer, why aren't we being taught HOW to pray?! Its the WORD of GOD, everyone! Pray the word! Its the most powerful prayer you can have! By doing so you will truly invite the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT and HE will guide you in prayer and intercession!
There is war going on and we better get in the fight! Sure you can stand by and watch if you want, but Father has given each of his saints the POWER we need to win by the HOLY SPIRIT who is POWER. We know what we are fighting against. What are we fighting for? Ourselves? Yes. AND everyone other person who lives! Everyone is asking what the purpose is in life. Its knowing the Father and having Him know us. There is HOPE in that. We aren't meant to just keep that HOPE for ourselves. God desires that all men might find Him, and God's desires are my desires. So I'm joining His army.
We, the saints are His army, and our weapon is the Spirit which is the word of the Lord. God is our general and leader. And He will go before us.
By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Exodus 13:21
The Lord Himself did for the Israelites by preternatural means that which armies were obliged to do for themselves by natural agents. The Persians and Greeks used fire and smoke as signals in their marches, and in a well-known papyrus, the commander of an Egyptian expedition is called "A flame in the darkness at the head of his soldiers." By this sign then of the pillar of cloud, the Lord showed Himself as their leader and general. -Barnes' Notes on the Bible
God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will lead us. He will be our God if we will be His people. And He will go before us in the greatness of His power.
"ON TO VICTORY!"
For teaching on the Ephesians 1:17-21 prayer please visit this link:
http://mikebickle.org/resources/resource/1181?return_url=http%3A%2F%2Fmikebickle.org%2Fresources%2Fcategory%2Fprayer-fasting%2Fapostolic-prayers%2F
EPHESIANS 1:17-21
17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[a] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
The word "know" in this passage means to understand by experience. And that's exactly what happen in my heart. Suddenly I KNEW the POWER of the Holy Spirit. And the Spirit of His revelation came upon me. The praying of the word of the Lord is a might weapon just as the Bible says.
Ephesians 6:10-18
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, WHICH IS THE WORD OF GOD.
Man, am I the only one getting excited about this right now? Our only WEAPON is "the sword of the Spirit, which is the WORD of GOD!" Since we know that we war and fight through prayer, why aren't we being taught HOW to pray?! Its the WORD of GOD, everyone! Pray the word! Its the most powerful prayer you can have! By doing so you will truly invite the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT and HE will guide you in prayer and intercession!
There is war going on and we better get in the fight! Sure you can stand by and watch if you want, but Father has given each of his saints the POWER we need to win by the HOLY SPIRIT who is POWER. We know what we are fighting against. What are we fighting for? Ourselves? Yes. AND everyone other person who lives! Everyone is asking what the purpose is in life. Its knowing the Father and having Him know us. There is HOPE in that. We aren't meant to just keep that HOPE for ourselves. God desires that all men might find Him, and God's desires are my desires. So I'm joining His army.
We, the saints are His army, and our weapon is the Spirit which is the word of the Lord. God is our general and leader. And He will go before us.
By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Exodus 13:21
The Lord Himself did for the Israelites by preternatural means that which armies were obliged to do for themselves by natural agents. The Persians and Greeks used fire and smoke as signals in their marches, and in a well-known papyrus, the commander of an Egyptian expedition is called "A flame in the darkness at the head of his soldiers." By this sign then of the pillar of cloud, the Lord showed Himself as their leader and general. -Barnes' Notes on the Bible
God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will lead us. He will be our God if we will be His people. And He will go before us in the greatness of His power.
"ON TO VICTORY!"
For teaching on the Ephesians 1:17-21 prayer please visit this link:
http://mikebickle.org/resources/resource/1181?return_url=http%3A%2F%2Fmikebickle.org%2Fresources%2Fcategory%2Fprayer-fasting%2Fapostolic-prayers%2F
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Counting
For the first time in my life I'm counting calories. I've never been one to diet. But I know that I have a problem over eating. Not so much that I will gain weight, but just enough that I won't loose either. So along with exercising every day I'm keeping myself accountable and logging my food. I'm using caloriecount.com which is really useful. This was day one and I think I did pretty well. I went 43 calories over my limit, but hey it was my first day, I don't feel bad. Tomorrow I'll make the mark. I also bought a scale today. I didn't have one. And weighing myself at my mom's house once in a while usually at mid-day wasn't giving me a very good idea of how my weight was fluctuating. So now I have my own scale and can keep better track of what my body is doing. Also, I'm officially out of the 140's! Hello 137, 37 lbs lost and 27 lbs to my goal weight! I didn't expect it to take this long. I have definitely learned my lesson about gaining too much baby weight and I'll never let that happen again! I know will get to my goal eventually, and hopefully before I get myself preggers again ;)
GOODNIGHT.
GOODNIGHT.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Talking to Myself
Man, more changes might be coming our way. I'm about 80% sure. But I'm rooting for that 20%. So many things are going through my mind. I can't stop thinking about it. I just had to write something out to keep me from going crazy. Then again, I shouldn't get ahead of myself, and stop worrying. It might not even happen.
"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."
Psalm 18:30
"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."
Psalm 18:30
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Ocean
Saturday we went to the beach. It was so amazing to spend a beautiful day with my family in Lincoln City. On the way there we stopped at the Spirit Mountain casino and ate at the buffet that they had there. It was my first time there, but I had been hearing Nestor raving about it for the past three years. So finally we went and I have to say that it was the best buffet I have ever been to. It was actually really good food and there was a huge selection. Gabriel loved it so much. He sat next to me in his high chair all excited and clearly enjoying all the different foods. I could tell by all the 'yummy' noises and faces he made. Man, I love that kid. Once we were at the beach it was a pretty big task to haul the small cooler, blankets, bag, and Gabriel all down to the shore with just the two of us. It took a while, but finally we found a spot relatively free of people. The good weather had the beach stocked with visitors. Gabriel enjoyed being outside and seeing the waves. He smiled the whole time and squealed a lot. He didn't want to get wet, but he laughed as we chased and ran away from the waves. I tried to get him to play in the sand with me, but when I set him down in it he started crying. Haha, I guess he didn't care for the feel of it. So he smiled the whole time as he crawled around on our blankets. At one point he crawled around the entire edge of the blankets careful not to touch the sand, but his little foot slipped off and onto the sand. He looked back at that foot with such a funny expression and then quickly reclaimed it from the sand. It was pretty funny. Mostly he spent his time digging his little fingers into the bag of chips we had out. He fed me some and drank some apple juice. We laughed and tickled and took pictures making silly faces. It was an amazing time.
The ocean was beautiful. The weather was incredible. Warm, sunny, and blue sky. No clouds. And as I laid out on the blanket with Nestor next to me and Gabriel crawling everywhere making joyful noises, I stared up at that big blue sky. I couldn't remember the last time I stared up into a sunny sky, and I wasn't sure if I had ever taken the time to stare into a cloudless sky. It was so breathtaking, so easy to get lost in the vast blue. Suddenly I realized I was so happy. So content. Life felt effortless and blissful. I love my life. I am so in love with Nestor, and my sweet baby boy. Life is so grand. I am so happy. God has blessed me so beyond what I could have ever asked for. He is a great God, and I thank Him for this time of blessings.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Heart Change
When I was 17 I read Isaiah 43:1-2.
" But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel:"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
Verse one grabbed hold of me and I realized that Christ had a claim on me. I was His. He wanted me as His own despite all my failures. And it didn't stop there. He loved me enough to redeem me. I immediately decided this passage was going to be my life verse. It will always be dear to my heart and always encourage me, but my life has greatly changed since then. I feel like I am a completely different person now.
So as my life has changed I feel my life verse must also change. God has been taking me through a heart change this past year. It has been a very hard and very beautiful experience. I feel I have gotten past the hardest part and am now coming into a time of rest and communion. I feel excited and ready to pursue God as my first love with all that is in me. I am scared because I know He has called me to ministry. I know that the more I am obedient to Him, the more He will stretch me pull me out of my comfort zone and call me into action. This terrifies me. But the Lord be my help.
I have begun to travel down a road. This road is one that I am determined to press forward on. I will not stop no matter how difficult it gets because the farther down this road I travel, the closer I get to my Jesus. And that's all I want.
It is easy for me to look in the past and still feel the pain. But the past is gone and only a tool that the devil uses to distract me from goal. This being said I'm sure you can guess what my new life verse is. Philippians 3:12-14.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Amazing verse, huh!? This is my heart, and I feel so passionate about this. I want everyone I know to experience the pull of Jesus and the desire to pursue Him. I'm ready for this. God has been preparing me my whole life for His calling. The starting gun has been shot. I'm in race. I'm off an running and I'm not turning back. Jesus, be my strength and courage.
" But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel:"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
Verse one grabbed hold of me and I realized that Christ had a claim on me. I was His. He wanted me as His own despite all my failures. And it didn't stop there. He loved me enough to redeem me. I immediately decided this passage was going to be my life verse. It will always be dear to my heart and always encourage me, but my life has greatly changed since then. I feel like I am a completely different person now.
So as my life has changed I feel my life verse must also change. God has been taking me through a heart change this past year. It has been a very hard and very beautiful experience. I feel I have gotten past the hardest part and am now coming into a time of rest and communion. I feel excited and ready to pursue God as my first love with all that is in me. I am scared because I know He has called me to ministry. I know that the more I am obedient to Him, the more He will stretch me pull me out of my comfort zone and call me into action. This terrifies me. But the Lord be my help.
I have begun to travel down a road. This road is one that I am determined to press forward on. I will not stop no matter how difficult it gets because the farther down this road I travel, the closer I get to my Jesus. And that's all I want.
It is easy for me to look in the past and still feel the pain. But the past is gone and only a tool that the devil uses to distract me from goal. This being said I'm sure you can guess what my new life verse is. Philippians 3:12-14.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Amazing verse, huh!? This is my heart, and I feel so passionate about this. I want everyone I know to experience the pull of Jesus and the desire to pursue Him. I'm ready for this. God has been preparing me my whole life for His calling. The starting gun has been shot. I'm in race. I'm off an running and I'm not turning back. Jesus, be my strength and courage.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Beloved
My newest worship song. Inspired by a wedding. Hope you like (:
"Beloved"
(V1)
I come to you, Beloved
With a heart as full as the ocean
overflowing with love for You Beloved
A passion meant only for You
Let me stay with you forever
Let me rest my head at Your feet
I've been searching all my life for you Beloved
And I'm sorry it took so long to find You
(Chorus)
I don't wanna waste one more moment away from You
I can't spend one more day missing You
I won't ever again pretend that I can breathe without You
I can't breathe without you
(V2)
I was created for You, Beloved
A life purposed just to know You
I've fallen for You, Beloved
Death can't keep me from You
Your that all I desire
I crave all that You are
Its a desperate longing like desert for water
And I know now You're the answer to all my dreams
(Chorus)
I don't wanna waste one more moment away from You
I can't spend one more day missing You
I won't ever again pretend that I can breathe without You
I can't breathe without you
(Bridge)
Oh, I know that this is special
You've written me a beautiful love story
"Beloved"
(V1)
I come to you, Beloved
With a heart as full as the ocean
overflowing with love for You Beloved
A passion meant only for You
Let me stay with you forever
Let me rest my head at Your feet
I've been searching all my life for you Beloved
And I'm sorry it took so long to find You
(Chorus)
I don't wanna waste one more moment away from You
I can't spend one more day missing You
I won't ever again pretend that I can breathe without You
I can't breathe without you
(V2)
I was created for You, Beloved
A life purposed just to know You
I've fallen for You, Beloved
Death can't keep me from You
Your that all I desire
I crave all that You are
Its a desperate longing like desert for water
And I know now You're the answer to all my dreams
(Chorus)
I don't wanna waste one more moment away from You
I can't spend one more day missing You
I won't ever again pretend that I can breathe without You
I can't breathe without you
(Bridge)
Oh, I know that this is special
You've written me a beautiful love story
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Not So Perfect
I have been struggling a lot lately. I'm feeling attacked on all sides. At the same time Christ has been calling to me and I have been desperately reaching out my arms to Him. I feel like I am connected to Him by just a finger's grasp while the war rages on around me. Don't let me go, sweet Jesus. I need You to hold onto me. I am small and frail, and I can't see through this chaos. My eyes desperately watch yours. I think if I look away for a even a second I will be lost.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
"Blessings"
Nestor and I had a deep conversation the other night about what was going on in our hearts. Then we heard this song that covered everything we were talking about. It is an amazing song. Made me cry
Laura Story- Blessings
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
Laura Story- Blessings
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
This is War
Dear Stronghold,
I have laid in surrender while you have tortured me. I have soaked up all your deceit and eaten all your tasty lies. I have gorged myself full of them until sick and ready to vomit. I once tried to fight you, but I was weak and small. I had no strength and soon found myself no match for you, and was quickly defeated. I have tried to hide from you. Pretended you didn't exist and told myself you never had. I have tried to disguise you. I have dressed you up with every article of disguise I could find. I have tried to ignore you. But I always knew you were there. I could see you out of the corner of my eye. After all these failed attempts, I once again laid down while you taunted me and fed me lies. How wicked and dark you are to keep a prisoner for so long. But I'm tired of this charade, and I won't lie down any longer. I won't believe this is my fate. Though through all these years I have had little progress in getting rid of you, I have not given up. In fact I am more determined than ever. You will not steal one more moment from me. This is my life. My soul. My heart. I do not belong to you. I am the child of the Living God. To hear his Name you tremble in fear. This is your formal warning. I am back. I'm ready to fight. And this time...I brought my Friend.
I have laid in surrender while you have tortured me. I have soaked up all your deceit and eaten all your tasty lies. I have gorged myself full of them until sick and ready to vomit. I once tried to fight you, but I was weak and small. I had no strength and soon found myself no match for you, and was quickly defeated. I have tried to hide from you. Pretended you didn't exist and told myself you never had. I have tried to disguise you. I have dressed you up with every article of disguise I could find. I have tried to ignore you. But I always knew you were there. I could see you out of the corner of my eye. After all these failed attempts, I once again laid down while you taunted me and fed me lies. How wicked and dark you are to keep a prisoner for so long. But I'm tired of this charade, and I won't lie down any longer. I won't believe this is my fate. Though through all these years I have had little progress in getting rid of you, I have not given up. In fact I am more determined than ever. You will not steal one more moment from me. This is my life. My soul. My heart. I do not belong to you. I am the child of the Living God. To hear his Name you tremble in fear. This is your formal warning. I am back. I'm ready to fight. And this time...I brought my Friend.
Friday, June 3, 2011
YOU ARE GOD
In the darkness a girl cried out,
"GOD WHO ARE YOU!? WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO IN THE WAY THAT YOU DO THEM?"
She felt far away from God lately. For the first time she was asking questions that she had never dared to ask. She was desperate to understand this Creator that she had always worshiped. Who was He REALLY? What did his personality look like? How could she ever have a closer relationship with Him when He was not physical and she was full of sin?
In the darkness she received no answers. No booming voice sounded from heaven. There was silence.....
But the morning came with light streaming through the windows and a familiar song pierced her heart....
You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting
Oh, I'm running to your arms,
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
My heart will sing
no other name
Jesus, Jesus
Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
-FOREVER REIGN, HILLSONG
The girl was beginning to get some answers. And suddenly she no longer felt ashamed for questioning. She realized her heart was to truly KNOW God for WHO He is, and there was no shame in that.
"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."
JEREMIAH 29:13 (NASB)
"GOD WHO ARE YOU!? WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO IN THE WAY THAT YOU DO THEM?"
She felt far away from God lately. For the first time she was asking questions that she had never dared to ask. She was desperate to understand this Creator that she had always worshiped. Who was He REALLY? What did his personality look like? How could she ever have a closer relationship with Him when He was not physical and she was full of sin?
In the darkness she received no answers. No booming voice sounded from heaven. There was silence.....
But the morning came with light streaming through the windows and a familiar song pierced her heart....
You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting
Oh, I'm running to your arms,
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
My heart will sing
no other name
Jesus, Jesus
Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
-FOREVER REIGN, HILLSONG
The girl was beginning to get some answers. And suddenly she no longer felt ashamed for questioning. She realized her heart was to truly KNOW God for WHO He is, and there was no shame in that.
"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."
JEREMIAH 29:13 (NASB)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Jesus Wept
Man, I've been seeing so much hurt around me lately. Car accidents, deaths, cancer, divorce, tornadoes, earthquakes, devastation. Then there are the not so obvious hurts, the ones we all hold inside of us but rarely speak of. Sometimes there are people in our lives who can comfort us through the pain, but many times we resolve to suffer and cope in silence.Christ tells us to "cast our burdens on Him, for He cares for [us]" Too often we bear much of our burdens on our own. We may offer God part of our load, but rarely do we give him the whole thing. I am guilty of this as well. I have a bad habit of viewing God as a disappointed Father, knowing that I don't measure up to His commands. I fail to see how compassion and empathetic He is. He is the very definition of understanding. He feels our pain just as strongly as we do.
John 11:11-35
11 After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”
12 His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” 13 Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
14 So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, 15 and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”
16 Then Thomas (also known as Didymus[a]) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”
Jesus Comforts the Sisters of Lazarus
17 On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Now Bethany was less than two miles[b] from Jerusalem, 19 and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
21 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
24 Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
28 After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 29 When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
35 Jesus wept.
Whenever I read this story in the past I always assume Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus. But this morning while I read this familiar passage I really notice the moment when Jesus began weeping. He didn't cry when He knew Lazarus had died, in fact He said that he would live again. But "when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." He asked where he was laid, and THEN Jesus wept. I can't help but think that Jesus wasn't mourning the death of a friend he knew he would see that same day alive. He was crying because he saw Mary's pain and the pain of her friends and His heart was broken for them.
Jesus can see our pain just the same. His heart breaks for us and weeps for us. We can give our Lord our full burdens and rest in Him knowing that He is the only who really does understand our pain. In fact, He feels our pain just as strongly as we feel it. This greatly encouraged me today. God is a compassionate and empathetic God and He never forgets about us. Even when we fail Him He knows our hearts. All He feels for us is love, and when we cry, so does He.
John 11:11-35
11 After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”
12 His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” 13 Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
14 So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, 15 and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”
16 Then Thomas (also known as Didymus[a]) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”
Jesus Comforts the Sisters of Lazarus
17 On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Now Bethany was less than two miles[b] from Jerusalem, 19 and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
21 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
24 Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
28 After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 29 When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
35 Jesus wept.
Whenever I read this story in the past I always assume Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus. But this morning while I read this familiar passage I really notice the moment when Jesus began weeping. He didn't cry when He knew Lazarus had died, in fact He said that he would live again. But "when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." He asked where he was laid, and THEN Jesus wept. I can't help but think that Jesus wasn't mourning the death of a friend he knew he would see that same day alive. He was crying because he saw Mary's pain and the pain of her friends and His heart was broken for them.
Jesus can see our pain just the same. His heart breaks for us and weeps for us. We can give our Lord our full burdens and rest in Him knowing that He is the only who really does understand our pain. In fact, He feels our pain just as strongly as we feel it. This greatly encouraged me today. God is a compassionate and empathetic God and He never forgets about us. Even when we fail Him He knows our hearts. All He feels for us is love, and when we cry, so does He.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Love Room: Occupied
I just started reading this book on my Kindle for wives. It's called Capture His Heart: Becoming the Godly Wife Your Husband Desires by Lysa TerKeurst. So far I've read two chapters and already I have been given such great insights that I wanted to share some.
So maybe some of you reading this have already figured out what I'm about to share with you, but I have only been married for almost two years coming up this August.That is hardly a lifetime like some of you seasoned wifeys out there.
Now, I just want to say my husband is so amazing and sweet. My marriage has been so blessed and I don't want to give the impression by the title of this book that I'm trying to make my husband love me more or fall in love with me. He already loves me sooo much, and he tells me and shows me all the time how in love with me he is. He's such a blessing to me!
I picked up this book due to a deep stirring that has been going on in my heart. I can't fully explain what I mean by that even to myself. But I feel my heart changing and my desires and emotions changing. I feel...provoked. A good kind of a provoked. I'm not satisfied (in a good way). I feel like my heart is cut open and raw and crying out for me to do something different. I am not enough. I need more of God. I need to disappear till Christ's hand is all you see.
So lately I have begun this journey. And to be honest so far it hasn't been easy. From the start it has been a constant tug-of-war. I want to let go of the rope, but my hands feel glued. Its a battle between my will and total surrender.
It is because of this stirring that I have been working on becoming a more godly woman. And because of my son and husband and my love for them.
So, I'm reading this book. And...I've read marriage books before. I was expecting it to be helpful and remind me how to treat Nestor. What I wasn't expecting was for God to hit the nail on the head with this book! Honestly, haven't I learned by now? God always has a plan up his sleeve. He is so awesome!
Alright so I've kept you all waiting long enough. Lysa TerKeurst explained in her chapter entitled, "Every Husband Makes a Poor God", very simply that we all, women especially, have a special placed in ourselves that has a strong desire to feel loved. The mistake many women make is to try and fill their need for love completely with their husband. The problem is that, that place in our hearts that longs to feel loved was meant for God to fill. So our husbands cannot fully satisfy that need because they were never meant to, and they don't have the capacity to love as God does. If we try to fill our love room with our husbands it will only be draining on them and we will never be really satisfied.
This was such an obvious, yet mind blowing statement for me. If I looked for God to fulfill my needs for love before I look to my husband I know it was change my whole perceptive on my marriage. To fully love my husband I must love God first.
Wow, what a great lesson learned. God really has great plans for me. I just have to say, 'yes'. That's all for now. Thanks for reading. Hope it encourages someone.
Blessings friends.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Update
SO proud of my hubby for loosing 16 lbs in less than three weeks! I've lost 8 lbs in that same time frame. So I'm now 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, and 23 lbs away from my goal weight!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Changing things up
I have been trying to get off the weight with Team Beach Body Slim in Six video, and Nestor has rejoined the gym this week, but we have decided to take it a step further to the way we eat. Man I love food, and so does Nestor. I love making up recipes and whipping together fancy meals like seafood fettuccine alfredo. So this change is going to be hard for us, but we both realize the importance of maintaining a healthy weight and teaching Gabriel how to eat healthy. So does this new diet have to be a bad thing? I'm hoping not. I'm sure with a little practice I will be able to put together some delicious meals that are good for us.
What does this diet entail? Here are our rules:
Little to no bread
Limit foods high in carbs (like pasta, boo.)
Little to no processed foods
No processed drinks or soda
No caffeinated drinks
Little to no red meats
Lots of water
Milk and some juice is OK
Lots of fruits and veggies
Limit eating out
Limit desserts (which I love making!)
No fried foods
When I say limit I mean almost none. But I have a hard time saying never, because there are always family dinners and special occasions, and you gotta cheat every once in a while.
That's it. I don't think it will be too hard. These are things we should be doing already. I will be cooking more from scratch, but I already do a lot of that. The hardest part will be finding recipes that we enjoy. Practice makes perfect. Wish us luck!
What does this diet entail? Here are our rules:
Little to no bread
Limit foods high in carbs (like pasta, boo.)
Little to no processed foods
No processed drinks or soda
No caffeinated drinks
Little to no red meats
Lots of water
Milk and some juice is OK
Lots of fruits and veggies
Limit eating out
Limit desserts (which I love making!)
No fried foods
When I say limit I mean almost none. But I have a hard time saying never, because there are always family dinners and special occasions, and you gotta cheat every once in a while.
That's it. I don't think it will be too hard. These are things we should be doing already. I will be cooking more from scratch, but I already do a lot of that. The hardest part will be finding recipes that we enjoy. Practice makes perfect. Wish us luck!
Monday, March 14, 2011
A Beauty That's Eternal
I am not sexy. Pre-Gabriel I often felt sexy, now I never feel attractive. The price some women must pay for the joy of a child. I traded my hot pink and lacey Victoria's Secret bras for nude nursing bras, my tan, tight skin for pale flab, and a smooth tummy and legs for stretch marks and varicose veins. I am 28 pounds overweight. I don't have time to wax, shave everyday, or paint my toe nails, or give myself manicures. I have very few clothes and shoes for that matter that fit me, and I may never where lingerie, a bikini, bathing suit, shorts, short dresses, or short skirts again. I am not sexy.
This is hard. Having all these stretch marks has been hard. Loosing this weight has been hard. I have never struggled with loosing weight until now. I feel like I may never be attractive again. All I can do is remind myself of what is important.
1. I am a mother. I have Gabriel who is my world and I would never take that back. I love him so much!
2. Who I am is more valuable than how I look. I strive to be a woman that serves the lord. I have compassion and mercy, love and tenderness in my heart. And that makes who I am worth while.
3. Nestor thinks I am beautiful. My true love still loves to be close to me. He still tells me I'm attractive and the sweet way he looks and me and treats me makes me think he really believes that I am beautiful.
I am a very blessed woman. I have so much love in my life. I only wish I could feel good about myself. But you know, all my life I have tried so hard to make myself beautiful inside and out. I think at times I have placed too much importance on the outward part.
Maybe this is God's not so subtle way of telling me that my worth far outweighs my outward appearance. Maybe I placed limits on my beauty when I focused too much on the way I looked. Maybe God needed to removed the limits I placed in order to show me a beauty and value far beyond what I was capable of.
This is hard. Having all these stretch marks has been hard. Loosing this weight has been hard. I have never struggled with loosing weight until now. I feel like I may never be attractive again. All I can do is remind myself of what is important.
1. I am a mother. I have Gabriel who is my world and I would never take that back. I love him so much!
2. Who I am is more valuable than how I look. I strive to be a woman that serves the lord. I have compassion and mercy, love and tenderness in my heart. And that makes who I am worth while.
3. Nestor thinks I am beautiful. My true love still loves to be close to me. He still tells me I'm attractive and the sweet way he looks and me and treats me makes me think he really believes that I am beautiful.
I am a very blessed woman. I have so much love in my life. I only wish I could feel good about myself. But you know, all my life I have tried so hard to make myself beautiful inside and out. I think at times I have placed too much importance on the outward part.
Maybe this is God's not so subtle way of telling me that my worth far outweighs my outward appearance. Maybe I placed limits on my beauty when I focused too much on the way I looked. Maybe God needed to removed the limits I placed in order to show me a beauty and value far beyond what I was capable of.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tug
There is an aching, a deep longing in my heart. I have a calling on my life. And I don't know what that calling is. I know I am meant for some kind of ministry, and it use to be my strong belief that I was called to be a missionary in Africa, but I don't think that is what God has for me anymore. It is hard to be patient waiting for God to speak to me, especially when the calling is so strong.
All my life I have felt the tug of the calling. I have laid awake many nights troubled over it, trying to plan it and understand it, but to no success. I have spent many prayers crying, offering God my life, and desperately asking him to use me and make me usable. Three years ago I decided to stop trying to force myself into any roles that God did not have for me; I needed to wait for God to reveal to me His plan. I am still waiting. I might have many more years of waiting.
I sense that God is preparing me. He is getting everything ready, slowly giving me the tools I will need. He has chosen not to tell me His plans, but He won't let me forget that He has them. Every time I hear someone's testimony...tug. Every time I feel His presence in a worship service...tug. Every time I see the needs in peoples' lives...tug. Every time I see God's grace and revival...tug, tug, tug. The tug of the calling is like a hook in my spirit. Its sunk deep into me, gripping me with a force that I cannot ignore, nor do I want to.
The calling is beautiful. It gives me hope and passion.
The calling is painful. It makes my soul weep for the broken as if they were my children.
The calling is discipline. It pushes me to love better and serve Christ deeper.
I don't know what lies before me. I don't know what my calling entails, but I know God's timing is perfect. And even this time of waiting is valuable and purposed.
So I wait. And in the meantime....
TUG.
All my life I have felt the tug of the calling. I have laid awake many nights troubled over it, trying to plan it and understand it, but to no success. I have spent many prayers crying, offering God my life, and desperately asking him to use me and make me usable. Three years ago I decided to stop trying to force myself into any roles that God did not have for me; I needed to wait for God to reveal to me His plan. I am still waiting. I might have many more years of waiting.
I sense that God is preparing me. He is getting everything ready, slowly giving me the tools I will need. He has chosen not to tell me His plans, but He won't let me forget that He has them. Every time I hear someone's testimony...tug. Every time I feel His presence in a worship service...tug. Every time I see the needs in peoples' lives...tug. Every time I see God's grace and revival...tug, tug, tug. The tug of the calling is like a hook in my spirit. Its sunk deep into me, gripping me with a force that I cannot ignore, nor do I want to.
The calling is beautiful. It gives me hope and passion.
The calling is painful. It makes my soul weep for the broken as if they were my children.
The calling is discipline. It pushes me to love better and serve Christ deeper.
I don't know what lies before me. I don't know what my calling entails, but I know God's timing is perfect. And even this time of waiting is valuable and purposed.
So I wait. And in the meantime....
TUG.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
A God Ordained Meeting
I have really wanted to share this story for a while now.
I went to the Clackamas mall with my sister and my mom when I was about six or seven months pregnant. We were eating and visiting in the food court when two ladies, an older one and a younger one came up to me. The younger lady introduced herself and the other woman and said,
"We love Jesus....and we are doing a prayer scavenger hunt. We saw that you were pregnant and wondered if we could pray for you."
I was skeptical at first. I didn't know these ladies. They said they loved Jesus but that didn't tell me what they believed, or whether it lined up with the word of God. But I figured prayer could never hurt. So I agreed.
They began asking me questions about my baby, if it was a boy or girl, about the father, if I was married. They asked if my marriage was going well.
"What's the baby's name?" They continued with the questioning.
"It's Gabriel." I told them.
"Gabriel. That's a beautiful name. Are you familiar with Gabriel the angel?"
"Yes, actually I'm a believer too." I told them. They were pleased when I told them this and finished there questioning. They asked permission to lay hands on me and began praying.
The older woman prayed first. As she began to pray I felt the Holy Spirit, and I relaxed. I could tell by her prayer that she and God weren't strangers. She prayed for my baby, for his health, for the upcoming delivery. She stopped and asked me if there was anything wrong in my body that might effect my baby or delivery. At the time I told her no, but looking back I realize God may have been speaking to her about my pelvic structure.
She continued to pray and I could feel the Holy Spirit moving through her as she prayed. She prayed for my marraige and then she began praying for things going on in my heart that she couldn't have possibly known. She then grew quiet. With eyes still closed she began to speak to me.
"I see a peace in you," she said. "I just sense God's peace all over you. I feel like there is this 'impossible' prayer, if you will, that you have been praying. You been praying it for a long time and you feel like there is no way God could ever answer it. You feel like it will never happen. But He wants you to know He is going to answer that prayer." As she was speaking tears began filling my eyes and lump formed in my throat. I knew what prayer she was talking about. I was moved. God had heard me, He still cared about me. He cared enough to send these two ladies to pray for me and speak into my life, and even better. He was promising to come through for me.
Then she opened her eyes and looked at me. "Does this sound like its right? Is this applying to you?" She asked.
"Ya," I said softly and roughly through tears. She finished praying for me and the younger girl began to pray. Afterward she said as she was praying she saw a trumpet and she felt like Gabriel was going to be a worshiper of God. That blessed me.
What an amazing experience. It must have taken a lot of courage for them to come up to a stranger. But what a God ordained meeting it turned out to be! God went out of his way to show me He hasn't forgot about me. He always hears me, and He is getting ready to do something miraculous. He's going to answer my 'impossible' prayer.
I went to the Clackamas mall with my sister and my mom when I was about six or seven months pregnant. We were eating and visiting in the food court when two ladies, an older one and a younger one came up to me. The younger lady introduced herself and the other woman and said,
"We love Jesus....and we are doing a prayer scavenger hunt. We saw that you were pregnant and wondered if we could pray for you."
I was skeptical at first. I didn't know these ladies. They said they loved Jesus but that didn't tell me what they believed, or whether it lined up with the word of God. But I figured prayer could never hurt. So I agreed.
They began asking me questions about my baby, if it was a boy or girl, about the father, if I was married. They asked if my marriage was going well.
"What's the baby's name?" They continued with the questioning.
"It's Gabriel." I told them.
"Gabriel. That's a beautiful name. Are you familiar with Gabriel the angel?"
"Yes, actually I'm a believer too." I told them. They were pleased when I told them this and finished there questioning. They asked permission to lay hands on me and began praying.
The older woman prayed first. As she began to pray I felt the Holy Spirit, and I relaxed. I could tell by her prayer that she and God weren't strangers. She prayed for my baby, for his health, for the upcoming delivery. She stopped and asked me if there was anything wrong in my body that might effect my baby or delivery. At the time I told her no, but looking back I realize God may have been speaking to her about my pelvic structure.
She continued to pray and I could feel the Holy Spirit moving through her as she prayed. She prayed for my marraige and then she began praying for things going on in my heart that she couldn't have possibly known. She then grew quiet. With eyes still closed she began to speak to me.
"I see a peace in you," she said. "I just sense God's peace all over you. I feel like there is this 'impossible' prayer, if you will, that you have been praying. You been praying it for a long time and you feel like there is no way God could ever answer it. You feel like it will never happen. But He wants you to know He is going to answer that prayer." As she was speaking tears began filling my eyes and lump formed in my throat. I knew what prayer she was talking about. I was moved. God had heard me, He still cared about me. He cared enough to send these two ladies to pray for me and speak into my life, and even better. He was promising to come through for me.
Then she opened her eyes and looked at me. "Does this sound like its right? Is this applying to you?" She asked.
"Ya," I said softly and roughly through tears. She finished praying for me and the younger girl began to pray. Afterward she said as she was praying she saw a trumpet and she felt like Gabriel was going to be a worshiper of God. That blessed me.
What an amazing experience. It must have taken a lot of courage for them to come up to a stranger. But what a God ordained meeting it turned out to be! God went out of his way to show me He hasn't forgot about me. He always hears me, and He is getting ready to do something miraculous. He's going to answer my 'impossible' prayer.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gates.
Lord, may I be humbled and find favor in you, as a woman who fears the Lord.
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gates.
Lord, may I be humbled and find favor in you, as a woman who fears the Lord.
Achilles' Ankle
My very own Achilles' ankle was born on September 30th, 2010. Tiny arms and legs wrapped snugly in a receiving blanket and placed in my arms, and little eyes staring up at me with strange recognition changed me forever. We looked at each other for the first time; the unspoken love between us was strong. What did I do to deserve this gift? The special place I held in my heart for Gabriel during my pregnancy grew as we watched each other. At the same time I felt something else appear that had never been there before. A weak spot. Small, but powerful. My heart was softened by this tiny spot, and I will never be the same.
The day my son was born was the day GOD gave me something beyond meaningful in my life. Gabriel is an extension of me. My heart is full to the brim with love for him. Every protective instinct I posses is on alert. If only I could keep him from heartbreak, if only I could shield him from any pain or physical harm. Whenever he is in pain, I am in agony. My weak spot is powered by the level of importance he holds in my life, and the knowledge that I have such limited control over his life. If I were to ever loose him, I feel like I would loose myself.
And so I walk around, constantly feeling my Achilles' ankle present with me. I feel so vulnerable now. All I can do is love my son the best that I can, trust GOD to take care of him (because HE loves Gabriel more than I ever could), and be thankful for heart that is softer. I am so thankful that GOD has given me this gift.
I can only be in awe of Abraham who loved GOD so much that he was willing to sacrifice his son for HIM. And even deeper than that is my FATHER who sent HIS own SON to born a humble birth and to be a sacrifice for me. What beautiful love...
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